My Speck

           My life is a speck in the vastness of eternity- a tiny drop in a massive ocean. A mist that will appear, and then vanish. Like any human, I have an innate craving to make my speck matter somehow, to be the spark that starts a roaring fire. Recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that in order for my speck to matter, there must be some greater purpose behind it. The waters that make my life so small and insignificant must have some kind of great significance. My mist must come from something; it must vanish into something. If my spark is really going to start a fire, this fire must find fuel from a greater force. In this truth, I find my purpose. And if you have a minute, I’d love to share this purpose with you.

           

            Have you ever heard a romance so incredible that you just couldn’t find the right words to describe it? It left you breathless and wanting more. It filled you with indescribable joy and wonder. Maybe it even brought you to your knees. (Or maybe not. How you respond to cheesy romance novels is your business.) Most people spend their entire lives trying to figure out the whole love thing. But what if I told you that love is the reason behind your existence? Behind the existence of your worst enemy? Behind the existence of the world’s highest peaks? Behind the existence of the entire universe? It kind of changes the definition of love, at least for me. At this point, you’re probably beyond confused. But I’m going somewhere with all of this, I promise. 

 

            1 John 4:16: "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in Him." This one verse is the reason I believe we’re here. Because God, the perfect, eternal, creator of the universe, who exists outside of all time and space, is love. And love must have a target. How crazy is it to think that humanity is that target? To think that before the beginning of time, God had a plan for an incredible, dramatic romance displayed in His relentless pursuit of mankind?  To think that He granted us with heavens that declare His incredible works and with a planet that we can call our own. To think that He reflected His most beautiful aspects- love, grace, peace, purity- not to us, but through us. And to think that He granted us with free will- something that I think makes this love story the greatest we will ever hear.

 

            Take a minute and think about the God of the Old Testament. I would venture to say you don’t have an exceedingly positive image conjured up in your mind, and I can’t say that I blame you. Until recently, I probably would have had a similar one. But let’s look in Genesis 2, where God warns Adam not to eat the “forbidden fruit” or whatever you want to call it. “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden, except the tree of knowledge of good and evil. If you eat from it, you will surely die” (Genesis 2:16-17). Surely die. To me, that sounds pretty final.

 

            But I think we all know how this story ends, whether we believe it to be a historical event, spiritual allegory, or pure myth. Adam eats the fruit.

 

            Plot twist: He doesn’t die.

 

Genesis 3:9: “Then the Lord God called to the man: where are you?” He called Adam by name. He forgave Adam. He wanted a relationship with Adam, and every man after him. So does this make God a liar? I don’t think so. I think it’s a revelation of the way God pursues mankind throughout the course of scripture and the course of history. God continues to reveal himself in this way time and time again. Yes, sin has consequences. But He never failed to reconcile Himself to His people, no matter how many times they ran away from His deep and endless love.

 

But from before the beginning of time, He had the ultimate plan. His plan was not to reign over the nations with fire and brimstone. His plan was not to receive futile animal sacrifices, or to oppress His precious children with a meticulous law code. His plan was to come down to them. To love and heal the people on the fringes of society. To declare messages that went completely against cultural norms: “Blessed are the poor.” “If someone slaps you on the cheek, offer also the other.” “Love your enemies.” “If you want to be perfect, sell your possessions and give to those in need.” “Everyone who exalts Himself will be humbled, and everyone who humbles Himself will be exalted.” Anyway, you get the general idea. He humbled himself and felt our hurt. Our pain. Our temptation. He sat with beggars, orphans, prostitutes, and lepers. The 12 men He chose to be His disciples came from pretty rough backgrounds. He fulfilled the law in ways that we never could. He humbled Himself to a horrible and demeaning death with the sins of all humanity imposed on His shoulders. And when He drew His last burdened breath, the curtain in the temple that once separated man and God ripped from top to bottom.

 

But it doesn’t stop there. He defeated sin and all its power. He defeated death and all its sting- all because of God’s radical, unconditional love for humanity. And now we can defeat sin and death through Him. Like Paul says in Galatians, “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:26-28).

 

Here’s a question I get a lot: “Why are you so happy all the time?” Let’s be real. For those of you who know me personally, I’m not actually as happy all the time as I might let on. That would be . . . unnatural. But I can keep a smile on my face because I have been resurrected in a grace beyond all human comprehension. This love just swells inside of me so much that I literally cannot contain it. Nothing brings me greater joy than loving others the way God loves me- from the inside out. I love being able to say that no matter who you are or what you’ve done, you don’t have to hide. You don’t have to be ashamed of who you are. You were made in the image of God, and when He made you, He knew what He was doing. He will embrace your brokenness and use it to create a magnificent image. He chose you. And no matter what anyone else says, He loves you.

 

I’m impressed if you’ve actually hung in with me for this long. But by now, you may have some questions. Comments. Concerns. Know that I am always available to talk to you about anything, anything at all. If you ever need anything, my heart, arms, and mind are always open.  I’m not perfect. I don’t have all the answers, but I hold on to this truth: “For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I walked like a child, and I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of my childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. Now, the three of these remain: Hope, faith, and love. And the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:9-13). God is love. A relationship with Him is not a one-time prayer, a signature on a card, or  adherence to a set of rules. It’s just that. A relationship. A divine romance.

 

This romance has absolutely changed my life, and I’m sorry if my life has not always reflected that. It’s the ocean of grace that the brevity of my life sinks into. It’s the hazy fog that I know will eventually be made clear by God’s love. It’s the raging fire that I want so desperately to ignite. But the thing is, I don’t want to ignite this fire in front of people or for people. I long to ignite it in people, the way the God of the universe somehow longs to live in us.

 

My speck is part of a bigger picture.