The Giant of Comparison

* This post is based off of an incredible sermon I heard about a year ago by Dave Edwards. You can listen to it here: (Even if you’ve never listened to a sermon before, I seriously recommend it. Seriously.) http://www.longhollow.com/messages/series/9?message=368&media=video

 

“And we seemed to ourselves as grasshoppers, and so we became to them.” ~ Numbers 13:33

 

 

          Comparison is something I struggle with. A lot. It permeates virtually every aspect of my life- academically, physically, relationally, and spiritually- and threatens to tear me apart The idea that “Well, I’m not as bad as so-and-so, but I’ll never be anywhere near as good as so-and-so” has probably separated me from God more than any other sin ever could. That’s right- I called it a sin. Because at the end of the day, comparison is looking God in the face and saying, “Hey, the person you created me to be isn’t good enough. I think you made a mistake.” I’ve learned that Satan will employ this mentality to do whatever it takes to convince you that you’re not good enough. It becomes this giant that we’re convinced we will never conquer. And there comes a time when we have to look this giant in the eyes and say “no more.”

 

          The giant of comparison has swept down and suffocated me in his unrelenting grasp. He has held me up to the sky and shown me that I am nothing more than a speck in its vastness. He has told me that my happiness must come from an external source- from finding favor with a loved one, from achieving a certain social status, or from reaching perfection. He has lifted me to meet the eyes of other giants, and he has distorted my perception of them. He has caused me to undermine my own accomplishments. To view them as insufficient. He has plagued me with lies and degradations that leave me in utter darkness. He has taken the earnest desires of my heart and ripped them into shreds. He has taken the remaining fragments and crushed them under his feet. He has tricked me into believing that my worldly weaknesses are not made strong in the greatness of my God and the sacrifice of my savior. He makes sure that I am obsessed with the faults of my past and the uncertainties of my future. He clenches me so tightly that any attempts to grovel free only result in further constriction. I have gone to great lengths to satiate the hunger of this giant. I have hidden behind a mask of makeup and appearance because he has defined me in terms of the number on a scale and the image in a panel of glass. I have kept from establishing certain relationships because he has told me that I am worthless in inferior eyes. I have locked my darkest secrets and inquiries behind a door of shame under the assumption that those around me have it all figured out. I have longed for the approval of man because the giant of comparison has denied me approval of self. I have withheld my potential in fear that it will linger in the shadows of another. I have questioned the impact that I am capable of having on an immense universe because the giant of comparison has caused me to discount my uniqueness and the divine plan behind it. I have lived for too long believing that life is a race is about competing, not completing.

 

 

                                                                                     

 

              “And so was we became grasshoppers in our own sight . . . so we became unto them.” This verse comes at a very pivotal point in scripture. The Israelites have come from years of torment and slavery in Egypt, and after an immense struggle, they have reached the promise land. The land of flowing rivers of milk and honey. The land of freedom.

 

             But . . . they don’t go in. Why? Comparison. They see these giants, and they compare themselves to them. They actually want to go back to Egypt. The land of pain and darkness. Because evidently, they know something God doesn’t. They don’t trust Him, and the power of His hand over them. And until they do trust Him, they miss out on all of the incredible things He had in store.  

 

            So what about you? How has comparison prevented you from getting the most out of life? Maybe this whole thing is new to you. Maybe you’ve lived your entire life believing a lie- the lie that God could never love you, could never deliver you from your sin, could never shine light into your darkness. In the cold, dim place of that lie, God’s word ignites a candle of hope: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I  have summoned you by name, you are mine” (Isaiah 43:1). Or maybe you’ve been a Christian for a while now, but you feel dead in your faith. The plans God has for you aren’t as special as the ones He has for anyone else. But you are the only one who can fulfill those plans. I can’t. The most religious person you can think of can’t. The person with the most money can’t. But you can. Take heart in this: “Commit your way to the Lord; trust Him and He will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun” (Psalms 37:5-6).

 

            Yes, when we writhe free from the grasp of the giant of comparison, the fall that ensues does hurt. But we don’t land in the barren desert. We find our place in the promise land.